Artesian at The Langham

What do you do after you’ve indulged in a large-ish afternoon tea? Go for a drink at highly acclaimed World’s Best Bar for 4 consecutive years, obviously!

Don’t worry guys, no need to shout out the “astaghfirullah”‘s at the name of a bar. The best thing about the Artesian is that it caters so well for non-alcoholic drinks.

We were presented with a menu of drinks of which we were told there were 3 non-alcoholic mocktails. Whilst deciding on drinks, we looked around and it was soon obvious why it was dubbed at the world’s best bar. Drinks were being served with elephant sculptures holding glasses, or wooden boxes with smoke fumes oozing from the drinks. I don’t know about you guys but what annoys me most about bars is that al the cool things seem to be with the alcoholic drinks and the mocktails and juices really don’t get the recognition they deserve!

We asked the bar manager whether he could make the drinks off the menu and he said he’d do something special for us… And special it was! Both our jaws were in a puddle of drool on the floor!
This is what we were presented with..


Yep, that’s right! It’s a giant copper ant with our drinks! One cup had a drink and the other cup had an infusion of different spices. The taste of wheatgrass was definitely a strong one, but you could taste the chilli flavour seeping through.

The 2nd drink was called Snakecharmer and was served in an ice cold (what I can only describe as) rock, with a bush of grass strands lit on fire which gave it a bit of a smokey flavour. The drink was sweet but had a bit of a chilli kick to it which I absolutely loved!


Turns out, drooling over drinks makes you really hungry and it soon dawned on us that we were peckish again, so the bar manager very kindly informed us that they serve halal meat, so we ordered our next meal happily because when you’re in an establishment with halal meat you order whether you are hungry or not and that’s just what we did…

So I went for the Chicken burger, which us odd as I don’t even like burgers (as you know), but it might have been the excitement of it all!


I looked at the meal in front of me and whilst I chewed on the amazing chips, a thought occurred to me – how do people eat burgers in a ladylike manner?! This is why I don’t eat burgers, it was huge! I decided to go with the civilised knife and fork route, it was a tad bit messy but boy was that chicken good! So crispy yet succulent! (why doesn’t home cooking turn out like this!) The chicken was so well flavoured and I actually enjoyed this burger! The bun was a little too crumbly and soft, which added to the messiness but the taste of the brioche bun worked so well with the spiciness of the chicken.

My friend had the lam rack .. aslo hala (obviously!)


Again, the portion was HUGE and we could have both eaten from one (especially given we had just eaten a whole meal not even an hour or so ago). The lamb was melt-in-your-mouth soft, so well cooked and the jus that the lam b was doused into was amazing! You could taste the jus all the way through the lamb.

After such big meals and amazing drinks we couldn’t breathe, so we ordered dessert, as you do! SO, dessert #1 was Praline Profiteroles


Praline Profiteroles, chocolate sauce with caramelised hazelnuts

It was a great dessert, the consistency of the profiteroles was a little harder than I would have liked so they were a little harder than most profiteroles I’m used to, but nevertheless it was beautiful to eat. the chocolate sauce was a beautiful texture and worked really well with the profiteroles. Wasn’t so sure about the rock hard caramelised hazelnuts though, so left them out. You must give appreciation to little leaf-like chocolates at the side, theu were almost thinner than a paper yet so beautiful!


Langham chocolate mousse,, guanaja ice cream with feuilletine crunch

Dessert #2 was this beautiful chocolate mousse. This was divine! If you’re going to have one dessert alone at The Artesian Bar, it has gotta be this. The texture beautiful, the taste such divine cholateness, and the crunchiness was just right, if that wasn’t enough here’s as added gold leaf to tickle your mini tastebuds!

Overall, this was an afternoon well spent! I definitely felt as though I was in the presence of greatness, yet the staff were so friendly and not stuck up at all as you would expect the best bar in the world to be!

Food – 6 out of 10 
Service – 10 out of 10 
Price -7 out of 10
Atmosphere – 9 out of 10 
Experience – 9 out of 10

Overall, giving Artesian Bar  a total TLH score of 9 out of 10.

Address: The Langham, 1c Portland Place London, W1B 1JA
Halal Status: Chicken and Lamb can be requested with 72 hours notice. Some dishes contain alcohol and gelatine so be sure to ask your waiter beforehand. Some chicken and lamb dishes are available without request but best to request to avoid a=disappointment
Closest Station: Oxford Circus (Bakerloo or Central LIne)


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